Love in the time of Corona
Slow dating offline and online
Yes, we know, it can feel like there are so many more important things to think about these days than dating. But we still want to say that what makes every tough time in life more bearable is; how much love we feel, experience and share. Are love and relationships perhaps the most important thing we have right now?
At Lemarc Thomas matchmaking, we are, as you know, completely offline and there is a basic idea behind it: that with a slow, focused approach, we connect more easily, more and more deeply. But if face-to-face disappears for a while then? Yes, then we have to adapt. The options are few: isolate us or adapt. The first one is no fun at all, so we will adapt. But not anyway! No, we want to challenge you to use the technology that otherwise bites us in the ass more often than not, to now connect with people. New people. With that said, we want to share our tips on how to continue slow dating, online but offline - via video chat.
And before you allow your brain to totally judge this, imagine making your home warm and cozy, maybe agreeing with your date over text what to eat (maybe you have a parade dish that you can share the recipe for and you eat the same thing?), what music should be played softly in the background, etc... and let your imagination run wild! Imagine how nice it could be. In 2020, we actually have the knowledge to create these nice meetings, so give it a try. Should it become very inconvenient, at least you have a fantastically good post-Corona story for your memoirs. We have put together a guide to how we recommend our clients to slow date via video chat during Corona times. If you are in quarantine (if you consider yourself healthy and want to be seen face-to-face, that is of course up to you).
Don't forget the essentials: just because life now moves slower and you find yourself spending a lot of time at home, it doesn't mean you should jump into a meeting without landing a little first. As usual, we recommend 5-10 minutes of meditation, breathing or complete silence before you meet a new person.
Set aside time before: if you and a person choose to have your first date via Video chat, set aside time for everyone's comfort. E.g. "Hey, shall we meet on Friday at 4 p.m. for an hour on Facetime?".
Connection: again, the easiest way to connect with others is to feel connected yourself so make sure to create an atmosphere around you that you enjoy and that you feel comfortable in. Feel the luxury of actually being able to sit at home in your safe living room but connect with someone completely new! Light a candle, prepare coffee/tea, maybe some cake...or a glass of wine. Let all the senses take their place.
If it feels awkward: it can still feel weird to sit and talk to a screen so allow both of you to really land before you start judging the other – should the conversation have difficulty flowing because it's so quiet around you or something, download the app ComeCloser or 36 Questions to fall in Love beforehand and suggest that you run a few questions to get to know each other!
Slow means slow: just because you don't meet as many people as usual doesn't mean we recommend a handful of dates a week, but keep the impressions down!
Offline, online: turn off notifications on the computer/mobile phone so they don't pop up during the date. Make sure you are completely offline when you are online!