In a time where we are crazy about self-development, we still have a lot to learn about dating and relationships.
Romantic partnerships can mirror the crazy within. Don’t shy away from it, reach in to that crazy (we all have some), hold it in your hands, accept it, give it self-compassion and, rather than inhibiting connection, let it be the secret gift that takes you deeper.
Alain de Botton suggests we start a first date with: “How are you crazy? I’m crazy like this…”
We live in a time where we are inspired to improve: body transformation in a 30-day plan, brain-training in an app, eat healthier, internet less, reach your career goals, the quest for spiritual enlightenment… The list for improvement seems endless. We want to be the best possible version of ourselves. To be happier.
We can take pride in the fact that we are privileged enough, both economically, culturally and knowledge-wise, to have space for introspection. But, here at The Matchmaking Agency, we are only too aware of the societal need to learn more about love and relationships.
- What is your attachment style?
- What are your fundamental requirements in a relationship (about five things that are non-negotiable)?
- What are your emotional and practical needs in a relationship?
- What values are important to you in a relationship?
- What have you learnt are your least attractive qualities, did you know that these are probably your secret weapon in attraction?
- What type of relationship do you want? What is your vision for your relationship future?
- How do you communicate conflict?
- How have you learnt to give and receive love?
- What is your sex language?
- What themes/ unhelpful stories play in your mind that throw you off your game?
- What pattern(s) do you repeat that may inhibit connection?
If you were to give yourself a score out of 11, for the number of these questions that you can comfortably answer, what do you score?
Our guess is that the majority of people have not dug in to these topics, much of which we think should be taught in school.
Instead, we’re all just supposed to be pros in love, in dating, in finding “the one” – this magical creature that makes our life complete. As matchmakers, we love fairy tales, but in reality, we have to work to create magic.
On one hand is the awareness of your dating and relationship potential – what room is there for development and what areas can you explore. But on the other hand, is how to take steps to develop.
We challenge you to be better at dating and relationships. Join us here, where every week we will post some information and strategies to develop some of the most important areas of dating and relationships.
And, if you are really keen to get going, think about what you can do (differently) right now to take positive action to improve your relationships. Commit to this action. Please also let us know if there are other areas you want us to dig into.
We know that doing the work to improve your dating and relationships is in huge part, skill-based and with practise you could transform the way you love. But the biggest challenge is to do this… and be whole. We all have a little bit of crazy, it’s foolish to deny it, but it takes incredible strength to go into it, shine a light on it, make room for it and own it with inner harmony.
As a famous mystic once said:
“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax.
If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.”