Slow dating offline and online
Yes, we know, it might feel like there’s a lot more important things than dating right now. But, we know that in challenging times love and relationships are even more important. When going through something tough, the best thing you can do is be nested in the love of your nearest and dearest. And why not, in these interesting times, continue to open up the space for, and be nested in, new love.
As you may be aware, we at Lemarc Thomas Matchmaking, work completely offline and there’s a reason behind that. With our slow, intentional approach to dating, we facilitate deeper connection. But this is not really about being offline or online, it’s about being conscious. So let’s take this opportunity to adapt and use the gift of technology to date consciously. Social distancing means not getting up all close and personal in the flesh, but let’s get up close and personal with the screen.
Trend update from the matchmakers: video chat is in!
Online dating apps are reporting an increase in activity right now. And the offline dating industry is increasing our activity online, by setting up video dates.
Here is a pic from the matchmakers around the world discussing this yesterday!
Mikaela Berg at Lemarc Thomas Matchmaking has put together a little guide, a how-to of sorts, on how to slow date online but offline that you can use now during quarantine time.
Imagine you’ve dimmed the lights a bit, lit a few candles, put on your comfy (I woke up looking this fabulous) clothes (and yes, you’ve shaved, sorted out your face and all the rest of it) and you’ve got some soft tunes in the background. Your laptop is well positioned, sitting on a stack of books for the right height (the upwards angle is not flattering). Maybe you and your date have been texting and agreeing on what to eat? What wine you are going to have. Maybe it’s the second date and you’re going to cook together from your vegan food bag. Best date ever!
This is our guide to how to slow date via video-chat during Corona-times:
- Don’t forget the essentials: just because our lives are moving in a slower pace than usual, and you are spending a lot of time at home, does not mean you can just jump into a meeting with a new person without grounding yourself before. As always we recommend everyone 5-10 minutes of silence, meditation or just breathing before going into a meeting/date.
- Set aside time: if you decide to have your first date via video-chat be clear in suggesting and scheduling an hour so that you have a firm start-stop time, to ensure everyone is comfortable. It is a bit more intense being just two people without any waiters, people or outside sounds. Of course, if you feel like you both are enjoying yourselves we don’t see a problem in keeping the conversation longer than planned.
- Connection: we can’t stress this enough, but the easiest way to connect with others is to first feel connected to yourself, so make sure you feel that the atmosphere you have around you, works for you. Feel the luxury of being at home and still being able to connect with someone new!
- Sharing: make it a shared experience by doing something together. Is it a tea/ coffee date, then plan for both to have some tea and cake. Is it a wine and cheese situation? Are you playing a game together. Planned togetherness is key.
- If it feels a bit awkward: it can still feel a bit strange to sit in front of a computer and try to connect with someone, so allow both yourselves to really land in your bodies and the situation before you start judging the other person. In other words, be extra kind! If the conversation is not flowing as you wished then we recommend the app ComeCloser or 36 questions to fall in love, both great conversation starters!
- Slowly means slowly: just because you are not meeting as many people as you are normally used to, doesn’t mean we recommend you to go on a handful of video-dates per week. Keep the impressions to a minimum and allow yourself to reflect!
- Offline, online: make sure all of your notifications are turned off on your phone/computer so you are not being interrupted during your date. In other words, make sure you are completely offline whilst being online!